One of these days, and it won’t be long,
he’ll know more about me
Than he should
All my dreams will be understood
Nothing more to learn from the look in my eyes…
– Heaven Help My Heart, Chess
Pausing your regularly scheduled blogging for a blogger crisis-of-conscience moment.
Right now, I’m feeling like a spectacularly crappy blogger. Truth be told, I’m not thinking any profound (or, for that matter, not profound) thoughts. Life is, as always, wonderful and tough and rewarding and trying… but that’s how it should be.
Does anyone who doesn’t know me, really know me, need to know? Do they want to know? I struggle with my natural tendency to be private and kind of shy with my desire to write. Sometimes these meld together well, sometimes not.
I’m wary of letting people who don’t really know me in on my deepest, toughest thoughts. And then at the same time, I’m also spectacularly bad about blogging about happy stuff. Never occurs to me. So right now my blog is occupying some mental in-between space, where I think about things… but don’t delve too deep, don’t reach beyond where it is safe.
So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I am trying. Trying to think more about how I want this writing project to look. What it will eventually turn in to. And this process is indeed trying, in all senses of the word.